We are social animals and since we live in a society we have relationships with other members of the society, be it our parents, siblings, friends, colleagues, bosses, spouse and so on. All the relationships are significant because in one or other way we are connected to them. But, your relationship with yourself is the most significant relationship you have, and that’s the most complex relationship you need to take care of. We don’t realise but the most of the trouble we have with ourselves is that we don’t know ourselves well.
Mostly people spent most of their lives avoiding themselves, be it their passions, creativity, desires, dreams, inner thoughts. Here, we don’t want to address our shortcomings or deal with uncomfortable thoughts which we might have. But we can’t escape ourselves, so we need to relook at the whole relationship with a new perspective and make ourselves our best friend. And it’s not difficult, rather it is the most easiest thing to do.
Techniques discussed below would help you to develop a stronger relationship with yourself.
- Start your day with gratitude and positive thoughts: Instead of reaching over for your cell phone to check the weather or to check social media what other people are posting on their walls, spend the time on yourself. Make a mental list of few things that make you grateful to be alive. Tell yourself something positive.
- Give yourself the intention of having a good day.
- List your positive qualities.
- Make a note of thing for the day you will do to make yourself happy.
- Get your day off to a good start with yourself.
- Write in a journal: Your thoughts and life are worth recording, take time every day to write for a few minutes about what all you did in the day and what are you going to do for the next day. This way, you’ll gain a lot of insight, motivation and appreciation for your life. All this means is that you should show yourself that your life matters.
- Let go of your avoidance behaviours: Most of the time we watch television, or talk to others when we are shopping, eating, or surfing web, and that completely distracts you from your own thoughts, instead of avoiding yourself in engaging in unproductive activities just sit with yourself. Concentrate, take deep breaths and notice your feelings and body sensations. After a while, you will find that your negative emotions will dissipate without your attempts to hide from them.
- Meditate: You need to spend a quality time with yourself, and meditation is the best way to align, your soul, body and mind. Start with just a few minutes and extend the meditation time as you feel more comfortable. You’ll find that your mind works more productively when you start meditating.
- Personal Development: You need to work on your own personality and personal development, no one wants to be in a company of person who is depressed and morose. What all you need to do is develop your personality, feel happy from your inside, keep smiling, do not show anger, frustration, or signs of sadness. You need to learn some skills like social skills, relaxations skills, networking skills, spiritual development, and learn to spend time with yourself only. Stop getting engaged in useless things and take a break to spend some time dealing with your own needs.
“Take good care of yourself and show the world how much you mean to yourself.”
- Have Fun: You need to have fun, that’s what all of us want. Your way of having fun could be different than others, like some people have fun when they are with their friends, some have fun when they are with their pets, some have fun when they travel solo, so try to find out what makes you really happy, and just do that for some time to have fun and relax completely. It’s your life. Enjoy it.
- Forgive Yourself: Too err is human, and everyone make mistakes in their lives. If you have made some mistakes or have missed a very good opportunity, and you are beating yourself for that, then it’s time to let of your past and move on. Try finding new opportunities, try to do something new, may be a new hobby, cycling, trekking, painting, learning music or anything you want. Once you forgive yourself for the mistake, and decide to move on and do something better then you will feel yourself more energetic and optimistic.
“When you enhance your relationship with yourself, you find yourself living a happier life.”
Also published on Medium.